Weekly Recaps & Newsletter

2025 Season Recap: The Closest Title Ever

Final Recap · Published after Week 17

The 2025 Low Ballerz season will be remembered for one number: 0.48. That's the margin by which Mamba Mentality (kumail) beat Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) in the championship — 141.56 to 141.08 — capping off the closest title game in recent memory.

But the real story of the year belonged to Champ Scypher (Sadiq), who named his team "Champ" before winning anything and then proved exactly why you shouldn't. He went a perfect 14-0 in the regular season with a league-best 2660.16 points — including a 246.08-point explosion in Week 12 — earned a bye as the #1 seed, and then lost his very first playoff game to the #4 seed, Mamba Mentality, 204.02 to 182.94. Fourteen straight wins and zero rings. He did win the 3rd-place game over Hells Angels, which is the fantasy football equivalent of a participation trophy, and we assume it's on his mantle.

Mamba Mentality's title run is the better story anyway: a 7-7 team that snuck into the playoffs as the 4-seed, upset the league's best regular-season team in the semifinal, then survived a photo finish in the championship. Total 2025 vindication for kumail.

At the bottom of the standings, This hill I die on (wajahat z) endured a rough 3-11 season with the league's lowest scoring offense, while Chig-Chig Boom posted the season's single lowest score — a 74.98 disaster in Week 11.

Now it's on to 2026. The draft went down on August 22 — see the full results on Draft Recap & Grades — and every team gets a clean slate. Except Scypher. Sadiq's slate is permanently stained with 14-0 and no trophy, and it will be brought up every single week until he fixes it.

Week 1, 2026: Scypher Nearly Chokes a 249-Point Game

Week 1 Recap · Published Sep 15, 2026

The 2026 season opened with Scypher (Sadiq) dropping a league-best 249.70 — and somehow still needing every last decimal of it. Sahara and Sahil (Meisam) put up 238.88 and came within 10.82 of beating him, the closest matchup of the week. Only Sadiq could score the most points in the league and still make it a sweat. Enjoy it while it lasts, Sadiq — history says the collapse is coming.

The week's loudest statement belonged to Underachievers (Turab), who ran over Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain) 164.94 to 96.68 — a 68.26-point beatdown that stood as the biggest blowout of the week by a wide margin. Elsewhere, Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z) opened with a comfortable 206.56–162.22 win over Philly Illy (Ilyas), Mamba Mentality (kumail) beat Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) 196.28–149.46, Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms) topped Rico Suave (Hussain) 191.62–152.16, and Hells Angels (omar) edged Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) 180.98–165.82.

One week in, the six Week 1 winners — Scypher, Reed A (little) Mor, Mamba Mentality, Ali Khalid LLC, Hells Angels and Underachievers — hold the six playoff spots if the season ended today. Way too early to mean anything, but somebody has to be on top heading into Week 2.

Week 2, 2026: Hells Angels Take Over the Top Spot

Week 2 Recap · Published Sep 23, 2026

Week 2's loudest result came from Hells Angels (omar), who put up 201.80 and flattened Philly Illy (Ilyas)'s 114.80 — an 87.00-point blowout, the biggest margin of the season so far and enough to vault Hells Angels to No. 1 in the standings at 2-0 with 382.78 points for.

The week's top score belonged to Sahara and Sahil (Meisam), whose 203.34 handled Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) by 52.92. After a 238.88-point loss in Week 1, Sahara and Sahil now lead the league in points for (442.22) by 35 points. Underachievers (Turab) stayed perfect by dragging Scypher (Sadiq) back to earth, 195.14 to 157.38, and Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms) moved to 2-0 in the closest game of the week, a 144.58–134.46 win over Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z) decided by just 10.12.

A word on Sadiq, since the collapse arrived right on schedule. One week after posting the league's top score, he dropped 92.32 points to 157.38, lost by 37.76, and started Jaxson Dart in his superflex spot for a grand total of 0.80 points — on a projection of 24.30. He is now 1-1, leads the league in points against (434.02), and has officially run out of people to blame except himself.

Elsewhere, Rico Suave (Hussain) pulled the upset of the week, beating defending champion Mamba Mentality (kumail) 177.56–150.58, and Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) got into the win column with a 184.06–156.54 victory over Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain).

Two weeks in, three teams are unbeaten — Hells Angels, Underachievers and Ali Khalid LLC — while Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr, Philly Illy and Immaculate Concepcion are all still looking for their first win. Six teams sit in a 1-1 logjam in the middle, separated only by points for.

Week 3, 2026: Mamba Wakes Up, Hells Angels Stand Alone

Week 3 Recap · Published Sep 30, 2026

The defending champ is back. Mamba Mentality (kumail) posted the week's top score, 217.50, and turned it into the biggest blowout of Week 3 — a 65.38-point win over Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z), 217.50 to 152.12. One week after losing to Rico Suave, kumail is 2-1 and fourth in the standings.

Hells Angels (omar) are now the league's only unbeaten team, but they needed every point of their 201.84 to get past Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms), who scored 196.14 — the fourth-highest total of the week — and lost by 5.70. The closest game of the week went to Sahara and Sahil (Meisam), who handed Underachievers (Turab) his first loss, 162.02 to 156.64, a margin of just 5.38. Meisam has now won two straight and leads the league in points for at 604.24.

Elsewhere, Rico Suave (Hussain) won a shootout with Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez), 201.68–185.84 — Parvez's 185.84 was the fifth-best score of the week and he's still 0-3. Philly Illy (Ilyas) finally got in the win column, 144.36–121.70 over Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain), whose 121.70 was the week's lowest score.

Then there's Scypher (Sadiq), who beat Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) 173.00–161.52 and will absolutely be telling everyone about it. Let's look at how. Jahmyr Gibbs put up 51.40 and the Vikings defense added 29.00 — 80.40 points from two players. The other eight starters combined for 92.60. Sadiq started an IR-tagged De'Von Achane that Yahoo projected for 0.00 (he got 3.20), and Isaiah Likely (4.30 on a 12.15 projection) and Rashid Shaheed (3.40) did nothing. His 173.00 was only the sixth-best score of the week, he's third in the standings only because of the points tiebreak, and he's given up the second-most points in the league (595.54). A reminder: this is the man who went 14-0 last year and didn't win a ring. A 2-1 start is not a story.

Three weeks in, Hells Angels (3-0) are alone at the top, and there's a six-team logjam at 2-1 — Sahara and Sahil, Scypher, Mamba Mentality, Ali Khalid LLC, Rico Suave and Underachievers all sit one game back, with Underachievers the odd team out at seventh on points. Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr and Immaculate Concepcion are the league's last two winless teams.

Week 4, 2026: Parvez Erupts for 212, Hells Angels Lose Their Perfect Record

Week 4 Recap · Published Oct 7, 2026

Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) finally woke up. Parvez posted the week's top score, 212.34, and buried Underachievers (Turab), 212.34 to 126.14 — an 86.20-point blowout, the second-biggest margin of the season behind Week 2's 87.00. Underachievers' 126.14 was the lowest score of the week, and Turab has now dropped two straight to fall to 2-2.

The other winless team joined the party too. Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain) scored 202.76 — the second-highest total of the week and 81.06 better than last week's 121.70 — to beat Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms) by 20.10. Khasim's 182.66 was the fifth-best score of the week and still wasn't enough. With that, there are no winless teams left in the league.

At the top, Mamba Mentality (kumail) put up 192.62 and ended Hells Angels (omar)'s perfect start, winning by 29.90. Sahara and Sahil (Meisam) topped Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) 188.08–156.34 for a third straight win and sit No. 1 on the points tiebreak with a league-best 792.32 PF, and Rico Suave (Hussain) also won his third in a row, 177.30–155.16 over Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z).

Which brings us to Scypher (Sadiq), who beat Philly Illy (Ilyas) 181.00–163.86 — the closest game of the week at 17.14 — and will no doubt be insufferable about it. Let's be clear about what happened: 181.00 was the second-lowest winning score of Week 4. Ilyas got 89.60 from CeeDee Lamb (48.80) and Javonte Williams (40.80) and still lost, because Sadiq's WR duo of Nico Collins (34.80) and Zay Flowers (29.80) bailed him out. Meanwhile Dontayvion Wicks sat in his lineup and produced 4.80 on a 12.19 projection, the Vikings defense followed last week's 29.00 with a 7.50, and Jahmyr Gibbs (25.20) came up 10.09 short of his 35.29 projection. He has the most points against in the league (759.40), a point differential of +1.68 across four games, and sits second in the standings. Remember: this is the man who went 14-0 last year and has zero rings, and renamed his team after a trophy he doesn't own. The collapse is coming; we're only waiting on the date.

Four weeks in, five teams sit at 3-1 — Sahara and Sahil, Scypher, Mamba Mentality, Hells Angels and Rico Suave — with Ali Khalid LLC and Underachievers at 2-2 and the other five all at 1-3. It's a tight, wide-open race for the six playoff spots.

Week 5, 2026: Sahara Hangs 227 on Ilyas, Sadiq Benches a 36-Pointer and Loses by 7

Week 5 Recap · Published Oct 14, 2026

Sahara and Sahil (Meisam) had the week of the season. Meisam posted the week's top score, 227.26, and flattened Philly Illy (Ilyas), 227.26 to 125.52 — a 101.74-point blowout that smashes Week 2's 87.00 for the biggest margin of 2026. Ilyas's 125.52 was also the lowest score of the week, even with 39.76 from Jayden Daniels, and he's now 1-4 with a league-low 710.76 points for. Meisam wins his fourth straight and leads the league in PF at 1019.58, 76.46 clear of the next-best team.

He has company at 4-1. Rico Suave (Hussain) also made it four in a row, topping Hells Angels (omar) 209.72–183.34 (+26.38) for the second-highest score of the week, and the two sit 1-2 in the standings. Omar has now lost two straight. Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z) scored 206.14, the third-highest total of the week, to beat Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) by 29.88, and Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) dropped 202.28 on Underachievers (Turab) for a 46.86-point win that sends Turab to three straight losses and 2-3.

Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain) won a second straight, a 200.50–151.68 rout of defending champ Mamba Mentality (kumail) by 48.82, and got 36.40 from Parker Washington in his first game after the Oct 7 trade that sent Tony Pollard to Sahara and Sahil (Pollard managed 12.20 in his debut). Mamba's 151.68 was the second-lowest score of the week.

And then there's Scypher (Sadiq), who lost the closest game of the week, 189.42–182.04 to Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms), by 7.38. Here is how a man loses by 7.38 points: he left Jameis Winston on his bench, where he scored 36.24, and started Tyler Shough, who scored −0.16 on 2 interceptions and 96 passing yards. That is a 36.40-point swing from one lineup decision. It gets worse. He also started an Out-tagged Roman Wilson (0.00) and Harold Fannin Jr. (1.90) while Jacory Croskey-Merritt (19.70) and Geno Smith (14.48 — the QB Sadiq traded for two weeks ago) watched from the bench. Winston alone would have won him the game by 29. His point differential has flipped to −5.70, his 948.82 points against is the most in the league, and he's third only on the tiebreak. This is the man who went 14-0 last year and has zero rings, and he keeps finding new ways to lose.

Five weeks in, Meisam and Hussain lead at 4-1, there's a four-way tie at 3-2 (Scypher, Hells Angels, Mamba Mentality and Ali Khalid LLC) and another at 2-3 (Christian My Calf Hurt, Reed A (little) Mor, Underachievers and Immaculate Concepcion), while Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr and Philly Illy are stuck at 1-4.

Week 6, 2026: Meisam Hangs 190 on Khasim, Rico Survives by 2.00 and Sadiq Benches 67 Points

Week 6 Recap · Published Oct 21, 2026

Sahara and Sahil (Meisam) posted the week's top score, 190.80, and rolled over Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms), 190.80 to 121.54 — a 69.26-point blowout, though still well short of Week 5's 101.74-point record. Khasim's 121.54 was the lowest score of the week, and Meisam did it with Trevor Lawrence's 38.84 sitting on his bench. That's five straight wins, a 5-1 record and a league-best 1210.38 points for, 110.60 clear of the next-best team.

He has company at 5-1: Rico Suave (Hussain) made it five in a row by the thinnest margin of the week, 150.68–148.68 over Immaculate Concepcion (Hassnain), a 2.00-point squeaker and the closest game of the week. Hells Angels (omar) bounced back from two straight losses with a 169.10, the third-highest score of the week, to beat Reed A (little) Mor (wajahat z) by 35.52 and move to 4-2.

Philly Illy (Ilyas) had the second-highest score of the week, 179.80, and snapped a two-game skid by beating Underachievers (Turab) by 23.62, with 29.00 from Jayden Daniels. Turab's 156.18 was the fourth-highest score of the week and still wasn't enough; he's lost four straight and sits at 2-4 even with 35.46 from Tyler Shough in his first game after the Oct 15 trade. Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) beat Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) 152.58–146.76 (+5.82) for his second win of the season.

Two trades went through since the last recap. On Oct 14 Josh Allen and Tony Pollard went to Reed A (little) Mor for Derrick Henry, Trevor Lawrence and Luther Burden III (Sahara and Sahil); Allen managed 24.80 and Pollard 17.10 in their debuts. On Oct 15, Tyler Shough and Nico Collins went to Underachievers for Dak Prescott and Davante Adams (Scypher). Details on the Trade Newsletter page.

Which brings us to Scypher (Sadiq), who lost 138.40–132.40 to Mamba Mentality (kumail) by 6.00 with his lowest score of the season, the second-lowest of the week. Here is where the 6.00 went: Omar Cooper Jr. (6 catches, 103 yards and a touchdown) scored 28.30 on his bench, Roschon Johnson added 21.00 and Geno Smith — the QB Sadiq traded for in September, now benched for the second straight week — scored 17.98. That's 67.28 points on the pine in a six-point loss. In their place he started Brandin Cooks (2.30), Dontayvion Wicks (4.40) and Jameis Winston (9.98 on 2 interceptions). And then there's the trade: he shipped out Tyler Shough, who dropped 35.46 for Turab, and got 14.02 from Dak Prescott. Sadiq is 3-3 on a two-game skid with a −11.70 point differential and the second-most points against in the league (1087.22). This is the man who went 14-0 last year and has zero rings, and renamed his team after a trophy he doesn't own. The collapse is no longer coming — it's here.

Six weeks in, Meisam and Hussain lead at 5-1, Hells Angels and Mamba Mentality are 4-2, Scypher and Ali Khalid LLC are 3-3, and a six-way logjam sits at 2-4: Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr, Christian My Calf Hurt, Reed A (little) Mor, Underachievers, Immaculate Concepcion and Philly Illy.

Week 7, 2026: Sadiq Hangs 224 on Hussain, Meisam Makes It Six Straight and Philly Edges Sarosh by 4.34

Week 7 Recap · Published Oct 28, 2026

Sahara and Sahil (Meisam) beat Mamba Mentality (kumail) 169.64–132.18 (+37.46) for a sixth straight win, a 6-1 record and a league-best 1380.02 points for, 80.14 clear of the next-best team. Mamba's 132.18 was the second-lowest score of the week. Hells Angels (omar) posted the second-highest score of the week, 195.30, and beat Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr (Parvez) by 40.20 to move to 5-2 on two straight wins.

Tucker up 💋 (wajahat z), the team formerly known as Reed A (little) Mor, scored 184.14, the third-highest of the week, and beat Laporta Potty 💩 (Hassnain), formerly Immaculate Concepcion, by 70.42, with 52.00 from Tony Pollard. Hassnain's 113.72 was the lowest score of the week and the second-lowest of the season. The closest game of the week belonged to Philly Illy (Ilyas), who edged Christian My Calf Hurt (Sarosh) 154.56–150.22 (+4.34) for a second straight win and a 3-4 record. Ali Khalid LLC (wiseonekms) bounced back from the Week 6 blowout with a 162.46–139.98 win over Shough It! (Turab), formerly Underachievers, who has now lost five straight and sits at 2-5.

Three trades went through since the last recap. On Oct 22, Rome Odunze went to Shough It! for the Browns DEF (Sahara and Sahil), and Keenan Allen went to Tucker up for TreVeyon Henderson (Shough It!). On Oct 27, Travis Kelce went to Philly Illy for Justin Herbert and Chig Okonkwo (Christian My Calf Hurt). Details on the Trade Newsletter page.

And then there's Scypher (Sadiq), who posted 224.36 — the top score of the week, the fourth-highest of the season and his best since Week 1's 249.70 — and flattened Rico Suave (Hussain) by 73.48, the biggest margin of Week 7 and the end of Hussain's five-game winning streak. Credit where it's due: Jahmyr Gibbs (34.80), Zay Flowers (33.70), Geno Smith (33.48) and Dak Prescott (30.28) did the heavy lifting. Yes, that's the same Geno Smith he benched for two straight weeks. Naturally, even in a 73-point blowout, Sadiq found a way to leave points on the table: he started Brandin Cooks (2.30) and Isaiah Likely (4.20) while Alvin Kamara (16.20) and Jonah Coleman (13.40) rode his bench — Kamara alone outscored Cooks seven to one. He's 4-3 now with a +61.78 point differential and the league's second-most points for (1299.88). Enjoy it, Champ. This is the man who went 14-0 last year, lost his semifinal to the #4 seed and has zero rings, and renamed his team after a trophy he doesn't own. A 224 in October is a participation ribbon; the choke is scheduled for January.

Seven weeks in, Meisam leads at 6-1, Hells Angels and Hussain are 5-2, Scypher, Ali Khalid LLC and Mamba Mentality share 4-3, Tucker up and Philly Illy are 3-4, and Hakka PUKA!! Jr Jr, Christian My Calf Hurt, Shough It! and Laporta Potty are a four-way tie at 2-5.